So, what did YOU do today honey?

My husband has absent mindedly asked me this question on a couple of occassions after coming back from work and if I have had a long day with no break to even rest my behind - he has pretty much had it from me. Ask anyone living in a nuclear family - even with a maids and nannies - babies seem to want their mom's more and more as they grow up! And if I ask him for a hand after a full day of work he seems to give me what I call,"The Incredulous Eye Roll" , as if, you have been lucky to be home with kids and I have just gotten back... so, how can you?

The Indian man has always been told he is the bread earner and he seems to demand certain kind of attention when he gets home, especially in joint families. And though the times have changed and the women are really out there, it seems that even working women still have to figure out the daily running of their house, figuring out groceries, managing house help, budgeting for the house AND managing their kids, scheduling their kids classes, doctor appointments, keeping the kids immunisation schedule in mind, planning birthday parties etc which seems unfair 'coz then they are basically doing TWO jobs and getting paid for one. If the house help is off on the weekend then I don't even seem to get a decent hour to unwind where I can just tune off from my daily duties of making sure both my kids are bathed, fed and entertained.

Nowadays, with a 10 month old my nights are long 'coz her sleep pattern seems to bersek every few weeks and my 5 year old has to get to the car by 8:40am so to get him to school on time so I have to be an early riser to make sure things are organised in the morning. But most days sees me getting up at 4am and rocking my daughter till 5am... then enjoying a cuppa of coffee in the only alone time of the day I get without hearing a "mama", "Ruchiiii" or "Bhabiiii".  Most day I want to cheat in a nap from 6-730am but something or the other comes up.

My house looks like a Tom and Jerry cartoon being played in fast forward mode in the morning if I have slept in beyond 730am on any day. I have to just rush my kid through everything to get him ready on time. So my morning usually looks like, 10m old on hip and 5year old being shaken awake by me. Then 5year old in bathroom and helping him through routine with one hand and running back to the high chair to feed the 10m old with the other hand. In the middle of helping the 5year old change my 10m old(potty trained) wants to poop and shoot we're running late to school and he hasn't even started the breakfast while the didi is rolling her eyes and wondering whether she should feed him, fill his bottle or make him wear his shoes or just clean up while I am in the bathroom with my 10m old. When I come out nothing has moved forward so we end up packing his breakfast and feeding him on the way... so if this is just my morning and I am sure at least some of you are sailing in the same boat as me. Then the rest of the day can look chaotic too unless both kids are at school for the full day and when I have been running around like a mad hatter the last thing I like to be asked is how my day was or if I am asked that, then please be patient enough to hear me rant and rave.

The problem with  nuclear families is that YOU are your only back up and probably don't even have the time to fall ill! The hubby could be travelling, the maid could be ill but you have to be charged like an EVERREADY battrey and be a substitute for the cook, driver and everything to get the child ready on time. And ofcourse there are good days too when everything seems to run smoothly and you can squeeze in some alone time with the hubby before you go to bed or watch your favorite serial on the telly.

I can be super organised but somehow I have realised that MAYHEM suits me and so be it. We usually have to come back up in the lift once in a while because my son has forgetten to carry his bottle or bag or both and getting angry doesn't seem to be the solution.

So, nowadays when I leave the house at anytime of the day instead of glancing at the mirror one last time, I have lowered my expectations. I just try to make sure I am carrying both my kids, wipes and water and the house keys out with me and the rest I seem to leave to HIM... because how much ever I have trained the house help there are days when I land up somewhere and the maid has forgotten the diaper and the baby has pooped or we are at piano class without the correct books and there is only SO much I can do to ensure everything is PERFECT so I'd rather live in my inperfect world.

Mumbai meri jaan...

Hello Mumbai! I have been itching to write and bake but most of the time I have my 10m old straddled on one side and am running to catch up with my 5 year old who I am usually picking up from school or shuttling to a class or playing a funny one hand game of cricket where I am always balling.

I look pretty hassled if you would ever bump into me and have managed to reach school to pick up my elder one wearing my kurta inside out BUT life is slowly starting to sort itself out. I am managing to get 4-5 hours of sleep on a good night. The rainy weather that I don't like is finally going away. I have realised I cannot bake in the day with two kids going "Mama", "Mama" every couple of minutes. The last time while trying to pry my 5year old son's homework from my 10m old's hand I almost forgot to put in the flour into my cake and I am sure you non bakers out there also know that it's a pretty important ingredient for baking.

So while I have been trying to figure out how to be a mom to TWO, I have also been trying to find a schedule for my kids and myself and classes and am going to give you a lowdown of things that will help you only in the suburbs.... I am resourceful and can find some things out for you but for that you will have to email me.

I have been brought up in Mumbai and done my schooling here and then was out for about 10 years. I am finally back and trying to find my feet in this madness... the Mumbai scene has slowly and steadily absorbed thousands and thousands of people in it's fold. My son's first observation of Mumbai was that it was such a tiny place compared to Gurgaon - he felt like everyone was on the road which he found small, the cars he felt were tiny and even the houses and playground were mini compared to what he was used to. Must say he was pretty dissapointed with the move. But I have always looked forward to being back in Mumbai after having been away for 10years and am a little disappointed with it.

Small, small things have changed around here. I grew up in an area of Juhu and thankfully managed to find a house here again when I returned. Everything around seems familiar but different.

The beach where we used to run around in our childhood in free abandonment is hounded by 100's of photographers waiting to hold onto your child and take a "perfect smiley picture". It's filled with a crowd that looks unfamiliar and instead of screaming at your kids to hold onto you - you just turn to look for a safer playground for them which aren't many. Most of the buildings and bungalows have gone into redevelopment and eaten up into their parks where kids used to play. We barely have place to park our cars nowadays.

I used to go to Prithvi theatre all the time as a kid to watch plays but this time around I was in for a surprise. My son and I were booked to watch a play a couple of months back and reached 15minutes in advance to find a line snaking down the lane of Janki Kutir just to get inside. Over zealous mothers had their servants standing for them and when I reached inside there were seats with bags, bottled backpacks booked for the kids to just walk inside and take a seat without having to wait in line. And I don't think it's the kids who are brats but the parents who have so much money to spend on servant who just wait on hand and foot on them.

Earlier parks were filled with children and gossiping mothers but nowadays they are filled with all types of uniformed nannies, unassuming maids and some mothers even find it below their dignity to accompany thier kids to the playground as their friends would think they don't have a maid.

Since I am not a working mother to regain my sanity at some point in the evening I take my kids down to the garden. My daughter strapped in the stroller, my travel mug has some steaming masala chai and my son is told to do whatever he wants but WHERE ARE THE KIDS? Everyone mother I know seems to have a class phobia and I am pretty competitive myself (so note to self - must send Arav to all possible classes).

But, really how many classes can a poor 4year old do. I know some mothers who have enrolled their kids in 2 classes a day and that is after having gone to school. Why can't you tell your children about the national bird or the President of India - why do we need a class for that. I thought a class was like an extended playdate but not always. Beware classes also come with a lot of cliques involved mainly whether the other mothers feel if you are worthy of doing a class with them or not. Or whether you are able to shell out a certain amount of dough on a yearly basis - not important whether your child's innocence and playing years are at stake.

So, I have decided I am also going to ADAPT and CHANGE (well, at least try to). Since I have no time to bake - I am going to try and give out useful tips and information about classes in the area, food tips for kids, menu planners to help mothers who have school going kids and just fun information that I can collate as I am an internet junkie... and I look forward to you just reading my thoughts. And at some point when the stars align in my favor I may be able to enter the kitchen and follow my favorite passion - baking!

Till then I am going to leave you with a view of my house which always calms me and reminds me why I love this city inspit of its madness!

Shall be back soon...